I hope you find this when or if you feel you’ve lost yourself in motherhood. It’s crazy to think I’ve been a Mama for almost 3 years now, and Boy! motherhood has taught me more than life before it had. As grateful as I am for the beautiful learning curve, I’m constantly fighting to find the pieces of me that have been lost along this journey. No one had prepared me for this but then again this feeling doesn’t happen to everyone. I naturally am a nurturer, a giver and will quickly choose to neglect myself for the sake of others. No one demands these things from me. I give them freely, I find it hard to put myself first but now I’m back on a journey to putting myself first so that I can show up for those I love, better. Here are some ways I’m finding the new version of myself in the midst of Motherhood.
1.) I’m creating boundaries
As a natural people pleaser, I find it insanely hard to set boundaries with those I have built relationships with, whether it is family or friends. Some boundaries I’ve set firmly are with my time, I’m currently in my “Family” era. What I mean by that is, I’m focusing on the needs of my little family, from being intentional with the time I get to spend with my husband to being present for as many moments as I can with my girls. Our family calendar always has one weekend a month blocked out with a huge “X”, this “X” indicates the weekend is off limits. We don’t entertain, or go to events we just relax and build memories together. We block out that one weekend as invitations roll in, that way we prioritize the events we want to attend without neglecting our need to just retreat at home. Speaking of invitations, we don’t feel obligated to say yes to everything honestly, we say “NO” alot. A little trick I learned, the more you say “No”, the easier it is to say it. Learning to have boundaries is essential, beneficial and necessary.
2.) Taking time away
Every month I schedule a pedicure, sometimes I go with a friend, sometimes I go alone but most definitely I go kid-free. Most recently I went away for a girls trip over the weekend, It was just what I needed. It gave me some time to sit in gratitude about the beautiful life I have and get to return to. I also enjoyed some quality conversation with other adults. It’s crazy to think that it becomes hard to socialize with other adults when you only interact with toddlers all day but it is true, it does happen. When I can’t step out of my home, but feel I’m needing some much needed alone time, I prioritize waking up before my family. You won’t believe how much you can think or how many things you can do in the quiet hours of the morning. I personally have been able to get in sometime with the Lord, with prayer and reading or a nice workout when I wake up just thirty to forty minutes before my family. Maybe those aren’t things you have trouble doing during the busy hours but I know that quiet hours create a space to truly take a moment and think or gather your thoughts. As Mamas we all need that every once in a while.
3.) Consuming Inspiration
On a daily basis, I listen to content that inspires me to reach my goals and become the best version of myself from a realistic stand-point. I know it’s easy to scroll social media and feel like your life has to look like that one mom but it doesn’t. I consistently am striving to be the best version of myself and have my own personal goals of what that looks like. My goals are all with the purpose of showing up and being the best version of myself for my family and me. I have found some podcasts and Youtubers who embody the same mindset I have and have helped to inspire me to believe in myself to be all God has called me to be. When I write down specific desires or goals for my life I find something that resembles it physically on pinterest. I download those images and create a vision board on an app called “MilaNote”, then I have a digital vision board and a reminder of what I want to focus on for whatever duration of time. This blog was something that was on my dream board and NOW, I’m doing it. I wonder what you’ll put on yours and see come to fruition!
4.) Being Authentic
This is huge! I felt in my early twenties I knew who I was and walked boldly into that, in my later twenties after Motherhood I found myself struggling to figure out who I was in Motherhood. From what I hear from many others, I am not alone, if you feel or have felt this way, you are not alone. Almost three years into Motherhood, when I accepted how much it changed me and my mindset it helped me to walk fully in my Authenticity. I started to embrace that I was more sensitive, that I had more boundaries, and that I felt the most important thing from now on was my purpose being fulfilled in Motherhood. Then I had to remind myself that my girls were watching me to be their first example of a woman. What did I want that woman to be, then I had to decide to be the best version of me in Motherhood. A mother who loves her family so much that she takes time for herself, that she is intentional with those around her and prioritizes creating a life of Joy. When I remembered to walk in my Authentic self, I found myself within Motherhood.
5.) Feeling GOOD
Whether you are a lover of perfume, make-up or fashion, put something on that makes you feel GOOD. I definitely am currently navigating this one the most, recently. My sense of style has evolved since becoming a mom, but I think it’s mainly because my body has also evolved. I’m currently in the process of figuring out what my new sense of style is for this new body. Yet, some days I still feel I have nothing to wear. Despite that feeling, I find that having a signature scent helps me to feel GOOD, for you a full face of make-up may make you feel good. Or a nice outfit might just be the thing to lift your spirits, whatever it is making sure you have on or wear something that gives you a feeling of happiness is always beneficial on the journey to feeling like YOU again.
Enjoy the Journey & Embrace the Joy of a New You in Motherhood,
Xx Classically Faith
