Teaching Children the Art of Delayed Gratification is something near and dear to my heart. Why you may ask because as Intentional parents my husband and I strive to spoil our children but without them being entitled. Our children have definitely experienced some of what some may consider to be the finer things in life such as homemade, fresh pressed juice or fresh baked bread. While this may seem over the top to some for others this is just a regular act. For me, it felt over the top in the beginning but has now become second nature as it has been monumental in helping to teach our children that you don’t get everything you want instantly, sometimes work is required or time and patience is need. Essentially we do things daily to help prevent our children from falling victim to the “microwave” society mentality. Here are three ways we teach our children about delayed gratification.
1.) Ingredients Only Kitchen
This is one of those bittersweet lessons in delayed gratification where it heavily relies on the parent. In our home, you most likely won’t find what you are looking for unless you make it. As my husband says ” We have everything to make cookies, but no cookies”. Despite it requiring a lot of dedication, time management and patience. I am teaching my children daily about delayed gratification through, allowing them to work and wait for what they want. I typically don’t do this for the first meal of the day because, we all wake up hungry. But when it comes to a request for apple juice, peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a cookie. My children are thrilled to come along side me to prepare a portion of the components to make this happen. Although the delay isn’t too long, they are learning that great things take time!
2.) We leave the store without Wants
Honestly this is probably more difficult on parents than it is for the children. Parents want to bless their children, I know I do so it makes it difficult to deny my child instant gratification every trip to the store. The idea of letting your children, see and sometimes touch items in the store without feeling the need to purchase them sounds crazy, right?. To be completely transparent my children have never experienced the instant gratification of asking for something in the store and getting it. So naturally it’s very easy for me to continue this. If this isn’t your case it will take quite a few trips to transition from “yes” to “not today”. In saying “not today” or “not now” to my children they know it doesn’t mean it’s never it’s just not now or today. Doing this has helped them to be able to grab something in the store, let me know they like it without the tantrum about not being able to take it with them.
Short Story:
I know this might seem harsh, or like we don’t give them their wants but it’s completely opposite. This past holiday season we were in a local grocery store, my girls were in awe of these gigantic bears and puppies! They touched them, even picked them up and asked for them, I felt so saddened to tell them “not today”, but they understood and put them back. Later that evening I told my husband about what happened and how much they wanted the bear and puppy. I even shared how much more I wanted them to have them as I saw how much joy it put on their faces. We agreed that evening while one of us put the girls to bed, the other would run out and get them in hope’s of surprising them on Christmas or Christmas Eve.
A few weeks passed and the girls never mentioned the gigantic stuffed animals outside of their first time seeing them. On Christmas Eve morning we couldn’t wait any longer and decided to bring out the giant stuffed Bear and Puppy. The look of pure joy returned to their faces like the first time they saw them. This reminded me of two things, one that our children see so many things they want everyday then forget about them. Two, The timeline of when they receive things doesn’t matter to them and we set that expectation. This way of teaching children the Art of Delayed Gratification helps teach that we can’t always get what we want instantly. Yet also reminds the parent that joy is apart of childhood that should always be fulfilled.
3.) Practicing Green Thumb
If we are being REAL, my children learn so much through planting because their mom is always killing plants haha. I’m no green thumb but the garden can teach you so much about life especially patience. This is definitely the longest timeline for teaching children the Art of Delayed Gratification. Plants take time, care and attention. The skill and delayed gratification from gardening is beyond beneficial it creates a sense of peace, gives the opportunity to learn how to care, grow and nurture something. In the end hopefully leading to a product worth enjoying in a meal or fresh off the stem/vine. It’s kind of funny a garden requires everything motherhood does, so if you find yourself needing patience in motherhood, maybe start a garden.
You have just read 3 ways to teach children the Art of Delayed Gratification. I hope you can easily apply one of these to teach your children. May they know that although they deserve the world, they can’t have it all instantly. Things take time, and that is okay.
Happy Cultivating!
xx Classically Faith xx
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