I get a lot of friends who ask me “when did you know you were ready to have children?” The reality is I did not know or think I was ready to have a child, but I had prayed that I would have a baby a year after getting married. When I was praying that I was thinking more like I’d get pregnant the year after marriage but God had other plans in store. I actually ended up giving birth one month after our one year wedding anniversary! But to answer the question, I did not know I was ready to have a child, I just ended up getting ready when I knew I was pregnant but here are a few things I would have done, if I had more time to prepare and plan for becoming a parent.
1.) I would prioritize my health
This seems obvious but as a now Mom of two, with my oldest quickly approaching three years old. I’m still in the process of repairing something that was already broken before I had children. My health and implementing healthy habits. I’m on a journey to teach myself to be healthy, so I can be an example to my children on what being healthy and prioritizing one’s health looks like. My health was okay before becoming pregnant and it was okay after but I don’t want to teach my children that having the minimum standard of health is the goal! I want to teach them to have optimal health and feel good and energized in their skin!
2.) I would have the least amount of bills as possible (eliminate debt)
Numbers 2 & 3 are in a specific order for a reason. If you can eliminate your debt and reduce your monthly payments, then you are freeing up money that will give you freedom to save more and do more with your funds plus, you never know what expenses will increase with the responsibility of another human OR two (in case twins run in your family). I know for us personally we have a miscellaneous line in our budget in addition to our children’s essentials because we still have many random needs for our kids that pop up from the need for cough medicine to losing a sandal at the zoo.
3.) I would have 3-6 months of income saved
We all pray for a healthy baby, shoot I pray you have a healthy baby, smooth pregnancy and a beautiful postpartum journey. Sometimes babies come early, babies need more time in the hospital and having 3-6 months of income saved will reduce the stress in one area. I have loved ones who have had babies come early and did not anticipate the amount of gas and money they would spend on food from visiting their baby in the hospital. It’s not something anyone wants to think about but it’s something that is better to be financially prepared for. Side note: if you have ever had to go home without your baby, I truly send you love and hugs 💛.
4.) I would ask my spouse a lot of questions
When I say a lot of questions, I mean a lot of questions! I’ll expound on these in another post but a question that comes to my mind right away is, “how long after the birth of our child do I have to change my mind about staying home or going to work?” This is a huge one. Many mothers think they will love staying at home, many mothers think they’ll want to return to work. Many mothers change their mind. The truth is you never will know how you will feel until you hold your baby in your arms, be sure to ask your significant other how long you have to change your mind.
5.) I would make sure I was disciplined with my daily routine.
I have come to realize that I have been stuck in the “post-partum” slump of progressive weight gain and just the continuous cycle of neglecting myself to prioritize the needs of my family for almost 3 years now. There is absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing my family’s needs but there is something wrong with neglecting myself. If I had been a person of discipline, consistency with an established routine before having children. I know that I would not have neglected my needs for so long and my spouse would have supported me returning to the way I always was. So I encourage you, if you are waiting for the season of motherhood, please implement all the self-care needs into your routine that are beneficial to your mental, physical and spiritual health.
Despite this list being what I would do if I had more time to prepare, remember that a baby is a blessing if you don’t have these things in place before the time you are pregnant, so what you can do while you are pregnant and even after birth. Don’t let this list stop you from building the family you want. Do what you can in the months leading up to their arrival.
I hope these points were helpful to you, if you are in a season of awaiting motherhood. I pray that at the right time you receive your blessing of a child.
Sending you Love & Hugs,
xx Classically Faith xx
